To honour a solemn oath

You may have forgotten that the day God created our souls He took a solemn oath from us. Have a billion years passed since then? Perhaps; perhaps more. But do we abandon our promises just because time has passed us by? Or because we have forgotten them? I wish I could say I was perfect, that I am a pious believer whose heart is clean and strong. I wish I could. But instead the recurring realisation day and night, even if I do not act upon it, is that I must repent. I have so much for which I must repent, and its time is drawing near.

“Repent and ask your Lord’s forgiveness before you leave this world. Before the world occupies all your time, hurry to do deeds to save yourself.” {Ibn Maja}

We have been here before, but that’s life, isn’t it? Those recurring cycles and phases. Now is the time. And yes I will repeat these words in the future, no doubt. But now is the time. And if I return, then now will be the time again. So we repent over and over, renewing our faith week after week, driving onwards towards the inevitable event. That day when our bodies will not breathe another breath and our souls will hang there waiting – still alive, but unable to put forth any more deeds. Perhaps we will hang there in our graves for another billion years as our bodies become dust, but a day will come. How did we honour that solemn oath of ours back millenia ago?

“Repent and ask your Lord’s forgiveness before you leave this world. Before the world occupies all your time, hurry to do deeds to save yourself.”

Now is the time, and tomorrow will be the time, and a month from now will be the time. Every moment is now.

13.7 billion years

According to contemporary scientists, it is thought that the universe came into being around 13.7 billion years ago. The basic characteristics of the very early universe have been described in the big bang theory, but scientists are still only able to make educated guesses about the details. High energy physics has been used to describe the evolution of the universe in the period that followed, explaining how the first protons, electrons and neutrons formed. They talk of the formation of the first nuclei, then the formation of atoms and of neutral hydrogen. A third period describes the formation of structure: matter coming together to form stars, quasars, galaxies, galaxy clusters and super clusters. I find this structural period fascinating.

Some of the most beautiful images I know are those showing deep space as generated by the Hubble Space Telescope. Those images always warm my soul, reminding me of the grandeur of our Creator, putting everything into perspective. One of the most exciting developments of recent times was the Hubble Ultra Deep Field image, which was derived from data accumulated between September 2003 and January 2004. Although this has been described as covering a small region of space, it is estimated to contain ten thousand galaxies. As the deepest image of the universe ever taken using the visible spectrum, it takes us back in time more than 13 billion years, showing us how the universe looked in the early Stelliferous age.

While the images of deep space in themselves are always heartwarming, their significance is also profoundly felt when one considers the words of the Qur’an about Allah’s creation. Sura 41, ayat 11, fails to provide us with a wooly, open description that the post-enlightenment age has taught us to expect from scripture. Far from it: the Hubble Ultra Deep Field image could be used to illustrate this verse. The non-Muslim, Arthur J. Arberry, translated it as follows in 1964:

Then He lifted Himself to heaven when it was smoke, and said to it and to the earth, “Come willingly, or unwillingly!” They said, “We come willingly.” *

This need not comes as a surprise for the Muslim who believes that the Qur’an is the Word of God. Of course the Creator can describe His creation in truthful terms. From His Throne, He is witness to all things. For the disbeliever who considers the Qur’an to be the fourteen hundred year old work of man, however, it could be nothing but a miracle: it would even have been so had it originated in 1964, twenty-nine years before Hubble was operational. Allah is magnificent.

One of my favorite websites is http://hubblesite.org. For me it is a reminder of what we really mean when we say ‘Allahu Akbar’ – God is Great. In these days of conflict, it is wonderful to remind ourselves of these things. If we set our short lives beside the fourteen billion years of Allah’s creation, it helps put everything into perspective. It reminds us of our place. It reminds us of why we are here and our part in this great scheme of things. It is right that we reflect upon these things, because it is what Allah asked of those us who were not brought up as Muslims. This is how that same Arabist translated sura 21, ayat 30:

Have not the unbelievers then beheld that the heavens and the earth were a mass all sewn up, then We unstitched them and of water fashioned every living thing? Will they not believe?

For my part, I have beheld and thus I am one who witnesses that none has the right to be worshipped except Allah alone without partner and that Muhammad is his Messenger. Allah is magnificent. Visit that site and reflect. It is well worth it. Notice how it strengthens your du’a.

* A. J. Arberry (1964), The Koran Interpreted, Oxford University Press, p.491

Allah, the ever Generous

Allah has always been generous to me. His magnificence never fails to amaze me. His signs, his bounties, his blessings multiply. On Friday evening I decided to bring this weblog to a close and thus I brought it off-line, leaving just a few significant words on the front page for anyone who might pass by. Words worry me. The responsibility we shoulder when we use words is great and so I worried, as I often do, about the existence of this weblog at all. Allah has granted me the ability to write and indeed He has decreed that my writing has developed quite significantly over the last few years. Thus I felt that I should use this gift for the greater good, to His Glory if you like. But still I worry. Is it a gift or is a test? A very dear friend of mine pointed out that all gifts can also be a test. Our spouses are a gift for us, but they are also a test. Still, the concern remains and on Friday night I decided to close The Neurocentric down.

Not for the first time, however – the same happened last time I decided to give up my writing – I received an email that evening, not very long after I wound the weblog down. It was someone I don’t really know telling me that my writing was useful for them. The timing: Allah’s Generosity? Why is it that every time I conclude that my writing should cease somebody has words for me? Is it a sign or is it a test? Allah knows best, but I know that Allah is always generous to me. He never ceases to shower His blessings upon me, despite myself. Allah is Great, magnificient.

Some weeks back I sent a manuscript I am considering publishing through my cottage-industry Press for review to two totally unconnecting individuals. The weeks passed by and I began to wonder whether I would receive any feedback. The author was pressing me for a response, but I had to explain that it was still out for review. But as I say, Allah is ever generous. This weekend without any prompting, without these two individuals, strangers to one another, coming together, one in Arabia, the other in America, I received feedback from both of them, within hours of each other. Alhamdulilah. What can one say, other than all praise is for Allah? Allah showers his blessings.

We say that Allah is the Most High because everything around us bears witness to this. We say He is Great, we say Allahu Akbar, because this evident all around us. I think of His generosity on Friday when He caused my computer to crash when I had finally decided to write a response to a comment left beneath one of my posts. When first read it on Thursday everning, I wrote a response, but while I was doing so I chanced upon those words that I reproduced in my posting ‘Words before the Hour’ – and so I decided not post that response afterall. But a while later – I suppose Shaitan was playing on me – I decided it did indeed warrant a response, and so wrote something else. But then I reflected on those Hadith and those Ayat again, and so I hurriedly deleted them once more.

By Friday evening, however, I decided this time, yes, I would respond. And so I spent maybe an hour writing something down, until the time came when I was ready to publish it. Alhamdulilah, my computer timed out. I tried posting it three times, but it would not go, and so I emailed the text to my Hotmail account, planning to do it later from my home computer. But when I got home, it crashed once more, and just then I recognised Allah’s Generosity. What was to be gained by responding? What was to be gained with those words? I recognised His generosity at last, and so finally I deleted that email, wiped away that text and Alhamdulilah the computer worked once more. Allah’s Generosity. Were matters within my hands, were I able to control such things, were I able to decree anything, I would decree that I land face down in the hell fire. But Allah is ever generous, ever protecting us from ourselves, ever granting us an escape from our own wickedness. He is the ever generous, and this is why we call Him the Most High, the Great.

A few days ago I was feeling sad, and so I returned to my Lord in prayer, making du’a, supplicating to Him who has the power to Grant and Withhold. I was feeling confused, recognising that without His help all of us will go astray. And so I prayed as best I could. What can I say except that Allah is ever generous? Without any effort on my part, He sends aid, He sends Guidance. Yesterday I conceded that it was time I did the painting I have been promising my wife all year, and so I went down to the hardware store to get some paint. Alhamdulilah, a member of staff there told me that the Islamic Studies classes were starting in the mosque at last the following day. He walked with me to the carpark and fetched me a timetable from his car. So this morning my wife and I walked the ten minute trek from our house, across the top of the hill and down through the graveyard to the mosque in that splendid sunshine, for the first class beneath that stunning calligraphy in the dome. The gentle Algerian introduced us to half an hour of tafsir of the Qur’an and half an hour of the biography of the Prophet, peace be upon him.

For half an hour he began to tell us the meaning of Hamd, and for half an hour he decribed to us the appearance of our blessed Prophet, upon whom be peace. What can one say except that Allah is the Most Generous, the Most High? What can one say except that we count the Blessings He showers upons us every day? Allahu Akbar, Allahu Akbar, Allahu Akbar.

We learnt this morning that Allah has said that very few of His servants say Shukr. And so we begin every prayer with Alhamdulilah – a gift from Allah, that we thank Him for those things that we are aware of and those things that we are not. Alhamdulilah. Allah the Most Great saves us from ourselves, gives us the words to say because He knows that we would not say Shukr on our own accord. Alhamdulilah. Allah is the ever generous.

I could go on to talk about all of the bounties which I have felt this weekend, but it would take up too much space and too much time. But Allah has made me aware of His generosity – this is His generosity in itself. I feel humbled and blessed. Allah has granted me so much, despite myself. He has granted me so much, though I am so undeserving. Time after time He protects me from myself. Allah is ever generous. I wish I could repay Him, but I know I never can. I know I never can.

And so all I can say is this: I seek refuge in Allah, the Lord of the Worlds, from myself and I pray that He guides me and does not let me die other than as one who has earned His pleasure. Allahu Akbar. Allahu Akbar. Allahu Akbar.

There is no strength except with Allah

It is now two years and a month since I was told that I could never have children. The news was broken by a Locum Doctor while my GP was on her summer holidays – he didn’t know much about the disorder, had to look it up in his medical encyclopaedia, then advised me to read up on it online. What a stupid idea that was; I Googled it, read disturbing descriptions about it and then became exceedingly paranoid. Was all that silence through the years due to this? Was I a bit slow because of this? Was my poor performance at school due to Learning Difficulties? Well no, for the past ten years I have always been honest about this; I was simply very lazy. Nevertheless, the paranoia remains; but it is nothing compared with the emotional pain.

We cancelled our travels that August because of its effect on us. Between us we shed tears; we would sit and read the Qur’an, making the supplications of Zachariah, who cried to his Lord for a child until He answered that prayer. As time went by, however, I began to come to terms with this news and accept it as the absolute truth; while my wife prayed daily, mine became occasional, for the doctors had convinced me of the futility, despite my knowledge that He who created me only needs to say “Be” for new life to come from nothing. Every time my old friends from university announced that they were now a father, my mind told me that I should be happy, but instead I felt sad. With every visit from my niece I had to hold back tears. It is pain like mourning; like losing someone. It is a loss, but others do not understand; life goes on as normal… “How’s the job search going?” “How’s work?” Perhaps these things are not important to me at the moment, perhaps I need some sympathy, some time out to mourn this loss of mine.

It is the pain of knowing that you have reached the end of the line, that you will be an ancestor for no one, that you will never have grandchildren who will ask you about your youth. Surely my family worried that I would raise my children in accordance with my faith, not theirs; but it was a dream of mine that they could trace their Muslim ancestry, that the English Muslim would not forever be viewed as the queer aberration that comes and goes with every conversion and death. Instead there is this pain.

Not long before we received this news I had a dream one night which troubled me. My wife often has what I would call spiritual dreams, but mine are non-descript meanderings of the mind. But this particular dream stood out and bothered me. A huge flood was overcoming me, its waves menacing and fierce, my resting place submerged. Somehow it prepared me for some devastating news and a difficult test. Without a doubt, these two years have been hard, but I have come to terms with it nevertheless.

Things change. From where does one find the strength when he learns that perhaps things are not as clear cut as he was told? In England we were told that the only way to have ‘our own’ children was through donor insemination, a course of action we would never take. But in Turkey where donor insemination is not practiced at all, research has advanced apace to help people in our situation have children of their own – and a good number of men with exactly my condition are now fathers, some to twins and triplets. The strain returns; now there is a possibility that we could have a child, but also the possibility that we will again be disappointed. The treatment running beyond our agreed leave, the strain grows again, the two of us fearing what will happen to our jobs. The financial and emotional burden grows and we wonder from where strength will come.

There have been so many times that I have read the phrase, “There is no strength except with Allah,” but sometimes we have to put advice into practice before we see the truth of something. To rely solely on your Creator is one of the most beautiful aspects of faith. Sleepless for four nights, wandering silently through the streets of Turkey, anxious about all of this, I did not know from where I would find the strength. Like so many times before I lamented that I am not strong enough for this. But instead, finding myself in beautiful mosques, I prayed. Suddenly the situation has altered, relief has come. Our employers were sympathetic, our financial situation okay, the high emotions lessened. It is true: there is no strength except with Allah, the Creator of us all.

Sincerity

Islam teaches that actions are only by intentions and everyone has only that which he intended: ‘Whoever’s emigration is for some worldly gain which he can acquire or a woman he will marry then his emigration is for that which he emigrated.’ Therefore sincerity to God is the key to faith in Islam. Believers are asked to ensure that all acts of worship are done exclusively for God’s pleasure. When actions are only by intentions, it means that deeds are only acceptable and rewarded if the intent behind them is sincere, although sincerity does not change the nature of forbidden actions.

Where a person’s intention is to show off, their acts of worship may be nullified. The greatest action, such as feeding multitudes of the poor, could be reduced to nothing because one’s intention was to earn a good reputation. Yet, at the same time, even the smallest action can be made great by the intention behind it. Good intentions are not spoken for they are matters of the heart of which God is well aware.

THE LAW

is valid until heaven and earth passes away

MUSLIMS BELIEVE that God is very much in control of His creation. This is expressed in the following verse of the Qur’an (ayat al-Kursi):

“God – there is no deity except Him, the Ever-Living, the Sustainer of existence. Neither drowsiness overtakes Him nor sleep. To Him belongs whatever is in the heavens and whatever is on the earth. Who is it that can intercede with Him except by His permission? He knows what is before them and what will be after them, and they encompass not a thing of His knowledge except for what He wills. His chair extends over the heavens and the earth, and their preservation tires Him not. And He is the Most High, the Most Great.” (2:255)

Muslims cannot, therefore, accept an evolutionary view of religion wherein God must step in to change the rules because mankind turned out to be sinful. God created all things. The mountains and trees, oceans and stars are all Muslims because, by nature, they submit to the will of God. In our creation, we were given a trust: freewill. We were given the ability to be righteous or sinful by choice. This was part of God’s plan; it was no accident of creation.

“Verily did We offer the Trust to the heavens and the earth and the mountains, and they refused to bear it and feared it; but man undertook to carry it. Truly was he unjust and ignorant.” (Qur’an 33:72)

Unlike mountains and trees, indeed unlike our cells, blood vessels and lungs, we (the cognitive part of ourselves) must choose whether to worship our Creator or not. A mountain cannot sin because it does not have freewill, but mankind can because God has granted us this trust for a time. This trust, however, was not granted so that we may run riot on the earth doing as we please, whilst the rest of creation worships its Creator. We too are asked to worship our Lord, to be obedient to Him. This is the purpose of our creation. Our creation has purpose.

God proposed a way of life for mankind. The Qur’an holds that every single Prophet of God was a Muslim. This is because, in justice, the religion since the beginning of time has been one. For all people, the way of life ordained by God has been belief in Him, accompanied by righteous action. Simply recognising God is not sufficient. Rather, we are asked to say, “We hear and obey. Forgive us, O our Lord! To You is the final journey’s end.” (Qur’an 2:285) Our recognition of God must be accompanied by submission to His commands and by striving to please Him. This was the message of all the Messengers of God.

Worship is not merely the performance of religious rituals. In fact it refers to obedience to God, when one’s actions and intentions are motivated by a recognition of His greatness. The following account explains this:

Once, ‘Adiyy bin Hatim entered while the Prophet was reciting a verse from the Qur’an: “They took their scholars and monks as lords other than Allah, and [also] the Messiah, Son of Mary. And they were not ordered except to worship one God…” ‘Adiyy (who had been a Christian), said, “O Messenger of Allah, they did not worship them.” The Prophet replied, “Did they not tell them that the prohibited was lawful and that the lawful was prohibited and they followed them in that?” When ‘Adiyy admitted, “Yes,” the Prophet stated, “That was their worship of them.” (Umm Muhammad, 1994, Realities of Faith, p.85)

Our lifetime is minute, if we consider the age of the universe in which we live. We are not here to stay. This is just a passing stage. Often when people talk about the hereafter, it sounds as if it is an afterthought; something granted us to remove the sorrow of death. For the Muslim, however, the hereafter is the aim, the destination he or she is working towards. The Muslim recognises that this period of creation is just a passing stage, in which we are given the opportunity to worship our Lord as He asks us to and to accumulate good deeds. In the Qur’an:

“Blessed is He in whose hand is Dominion, and He has power over all things – the One who has created death and life to test you [as to] which of you is best in deeds.” (67:1-2)

When this life is over, we shall face the Day of Judgement, and we will be judged. The Law remains valid for all people at all times, until the heavens and earth pass away, because by our obedience or disobedience to it we are tested and judged.

Afterthought

I would like to add that, from my own perspective, there is a great blessing and mercy in the Law. It truly grants freedom. I will write something about this later, God willing.